Untitled

When you asked me to leave
I left my shoes behind
In hopes that by the time i came back
You would forget and let me in

But from all the wandering and wonder
The hugs and handshakes
Gratuities and cigarettes
My feet became caloused

By the time i returned
You were gone and so were my soles
Grass in between toes
It was only a matter of time

MJ and Social Media

After Michael Jacksons passing i jokingly suggested as my facebook status "Ladies and Gentleman the new king of pop, Justin Timberlake." Of course it was in jest as there will never be another Michael whether its for his amazing talent or tabloid frenzied personal life. I then asked myself if things would have been different for MJ if he was a young star in todays pop landscape? Besides the fact that it is never easy to recover from an abusive childhood (not to mention as a child celebrity)but so much has changed with our society and culture since Jacksons youth.

When Michael Jackson was coming up with the Jackson 5 there was still a fourth wall in an entertainers life. Of course there were paparazzi but no where near to such a current extent. Journalism was much different. Fans wanted to know who Michael was dating but at the same time there was a certain level of respect and privacy reserved for his private life. The fourth wall existed and was part of the mystique of celebridom. There was a distinct line drawn between Michael Jackson the pop star and Michael Jackson the citizen (eventhough you might not have known it when he released songs such as Just Leave Me Alone). Although fans and the media remained curious, they sought out information in ways that were not as intrusive and in ways could maintain the pop icon illusion.

As Michael Jackson grew older and his celebrity that much greater so did the media and with that, so did the fans thirst for all things Michael. As his iconic status pulsed with life, beating and expanding like a matastisized growth his fourth wall began to collapse, ultimately taking him with it. Now with the rise of personal media such as myspace, facebook, twitter and reality tv shows the fourth wall seemingly does not exist. Except for the fact that it does, its just that the notion of "celebrity" has changed with it.

As media changed and became more instant so has accessibility to a fans favorite celebrity and also how that celebrity now interacts (on a more immediate level) with his/her fans. Celebrities now use personal communications through their own filters (reality tv shows, twitter, myspace etc) turning themselves into their own media outlets. Celebrities now present themselves as their own news feeds and as a result are capable of sharing whatever image they wish to share. Of course tabloids and traditional news outlets still report on public figures as they wish but the celebrities who are more open with the media generally gain more respect. Its the give and take aspect of that relationship.

What was a form of cinema verite initially has now become a platform for celebrities to present themselves. With that the publics thirst for all things famous is quenched. Its almost as if society says "give us some of your personal life and we will attempt to respect it... most of the time." Now a larger then life figure like Justin Timberlake or Ashton Kutcher can manipulate the media into believing the fourth wall is non existant by opening themselves up to the public through their own social media. But in reality all they are doing is putting on a different kind of show. A show that Michael Jackson was never able to do because that media never existed for him. Michael could never control his own news and as a result became a victim of it. Perhaps if MJ had the opportunity he wouldn't have been on the verge of taking the Howard Hughes route before his untimely death.

All in all im just upset that Michael never embraced social media because i would have loved to seen his latest facebook status "Bubbles has hit maturity and is humping everything in sight! Run for your life Blanket!!!"

Don't Stop Till You Get Enough

Growing up as a child of the 80's everything revolved around Michael Jackson. MJ was the end all be all of the pop world. There was no question that when it came to entertainment Michael was the first person you thought of. I was 2 years old when Thriller came out in November of 1982 and 4 by the time it was an international movement. I had posters of Michael on my walls, i burned through cassette tapes one after the other, i even had the Michael Jackson Ken and Barbie dolls with separate outfits (even the glove).

I loved Michael. On the weekends my mother would take me to the video store and as a treat she would allow me to rent Thriller on VHS. For some reason we never bought it, i think it was something for me to work towards during the week. My mother treated Thriller as my reward for being well behaved. This happened every weekend for almost two years. If by chance Thriller was not in stock that weekend i would then proceed to throw a huge fit and throw myself on the floor of the video store kicking and screaming. I had to have my MJ. I would stand up in the back of my mothers Toyota Supra as she blasted Thriller non stop. I knew every word to every song from that album. If god forbid, the cassette tape finally wore out mid ride i would demand that my mother drive to the local Sam Goody so we could buy a new one. I wouldn't last a night without that tape. To this day every time i hear any song from that album it takes me back to that Toyota Supra. Even as i got older my love for MJ followed. First it was Bad, then Dangerous, then HIStory and lastly Invincible. Now i show my love by dominating Billie Jean during karaoke. Unfortunately once i hit puberty i became unable to hit the same notes that Mike did.

See Michael wasn't just a singer, he was part of our family. And that's whats amazing about his influence, especially for any child of the 80's. There i was, a 4 year old white boy from the suburbs of New Jersey believing that Mike belonged at our dinner table. In a country with a long history of racial strife it never dawned on us that Michael Jackson was black because he was beyond race. This young man carried the weight of our countries lingering racial schisms on his shoulders, a weight that might have eventually even altered his own appearance. If someone told my grandmother back in 1950 that a black man would have the greatest selling album of all time she would have laughed in their face. But sure enough 30 years later it happened.

The day he died i had no reaction. It has been so long that he had been in the spotlight for his art that i felt like i had almost forgotten what he was all about. Many friends called and texted and all of Facebook and Twitter was a blaze yet it didnt dawn on me till 24 hours later as i sat at work and Thriller came on my shuffle. It took me right back to the Supra and my mother and my eyes welled up. And maybe its not just Mike himself but maybe its because he reminds me of family and my childhood. And the irony of being an 80's child is that MJ was arguably the most influential part of our adolesence and here he was a man who never had the same opportunity, to experience a childhood.

Eventually his personal life would overshadow his brilliance and he made more headlines for his questionable behaviour then he did for his art. But i don't buy it. I refuse to believe in hearsay, allegations and rumors. Michael was a light for many people and an advocate for children in need all over the world. He was a highly evolved soul that was brought into a very harsh existence, an existence that someone as sensitive as he could not bear to carry. As i teared up upon hearing Thriller that first time since his death i realized that he was free of the burden, the burden of being Michael Jackson.

Its amazing to hear the media coverage and the outpouring of fan support since his passing. In death MJ is almost more popular then he was in life. As people googled MJ immediately following his death, news sites and search engines worldwide crashed, servers were unable to handle the traffic. Record sales of his various albums and singles hit number one across the globe once again. They even moved his memorial to the LA Staples Center to handle the masses who planned to attend. If only this type of love was shared with Michael Jackson when he lived. Maybe perhaps if we shared the burden of being Michael with him instead of letting him carry that mantle himself he wouldnt have had such an untimely demise.

Rest In Peace Michael

Sex and Coffee

There is a Hustler porn store on Sunset Ave here in LA. This is not a surprise as Los Angeles is universally accepted as the porn capitol of the United States. Its not surprising considering that Larry Flynts, Flynts Publications is located in LA. Its not surprising even though its in the middle of a bustling area full of restaurants, hotels and clubs for locals and tourists alike. Its not surprising considering the Hollywood walk of fame is close by and so is the Kodak Theater where the Academy Awards are held. Its not surprising that Hardcore porn DVDs are located inside. Its not surprising that sex toys including vibrators, dildos, sex swings and accessories such as condoms, lotions, cuffs are located inside. Its not surprising that lingerie and busty salespeople are located inside either.

What is surprising is that within this delectable den of carnal capitalism lies a coffee shop. Within the Hustler store there is a cafe where one doesn't only have to fantasize about munching on carpet but also can literally munch on a delicious blueberry scone and chase it down with a freshly brewed coffee or even a double skim cappuccino.

"May i have a caramel macchiato to go with my double sided dildo please?" Thank you!!

A new lifestyle...

I have settled into Santa Monica CA rather easily. I find myself a bit of a beach bum at heart and im finally embracing it. Many would argue that ive always had that mindset, just not the climate to accompany it. Here in the mornings i find myself driving up the Pacific Coast Highway (PCH) just as the sun rises. Numerous cars adorn the shoulders with surfers of all ages strewn about. 10 year olds shredding waves on their short boards and 60 year olds making love on a long board. "Dudes" seem to hang in the air here accompanied by a once over and eventually a smile. Surfers are very territorial and like to protect their breaks so any new comers like myself have to tread lightly but once they see you catch one most barriers come down. Its lovely feeling and a wonderful sight. I dont know why i didnt come here sooner.

I still plan to report on my roadtrip which i will do soon.

back when...

you must do what makes you happy .. sitting in cafes with seedy characters, smoking cigarettes and sipping on gin or whiskey, feel the vapor sit on your tongue as you watch the waitress shake between the tables and deliver you clever hellos and goodbyes

cherry wood tells you the truth cuz it keeps the secrets within her bark, she will tell you that she loves you and you will remember when... back then, once again, as you say restrained by your memory wanting to go back to new orleans or memphis or charleston... all the cities where you can get a yall and a smile.

grandmothers come across the boulevards and remember when they were just streets, i want to walk with you when there were cable cars and i could be a gentleman caller instead of a misfit or a rifraf... that was way back when....

Inaugurating

I arrived down in Washington D.C the saturday before the inauguration with a few friends. We left a few days early to beat traffic and also because a few of us wanted to get some film footage of the weekends festivities. I went to the American University in Washington from 1999 and 2003 and i have to admit that the climate during those four years was much different then the climate now in 09 with President Obama coming to office. In my four years we experienced 9/11, the Iraq War, Anthrax, Sniper attacks and the beginning of what would be a failing economy. Although those memories were certainly present the optimism and hope would prevail amongst the masses this weekend in D.C.

Everyday there were more people arriving. We experienced only mild traffic congestion but every new day we had friends report that it was a bit more difficult for them to get into the Capitol. Everywhere we went people would cheer "Obama! Obama!", it was much more reminiscent of the Beatles then an incoming President, although cheers for pop stars are generally reserved for their presence. Obama could have been in another country, people were still cheering his name. At one point i walked down Adams Morgan and cheered with the crowd of people that lined up and down the bars on the street. A young woman and i looked at one another and immediately embraced in a strong and heartfelt hug. I had never met the woman before. The energy was infectious.

The night before the inauguration we were all out till 3 am partying, dancing, drinking. Unfortunately we had to wake up at 6 am to drive further into the city so we could get close to the Mall. We all dragged our weary and mostly still drunk bodies from our slumber and got in my car. We made our way down past Howard University before Soldiers prevented us from getting any closer and asked us to park in the neighboring area. What marveled us most was that none of them had weapons on them, Obama had requested that all soldiers not carry armed guns (at least noticably to the public). We parked the car and began our trek in the bitter cold. We were not alone. The streets filled with people singing and dancing in the wee hours of the morning. The sun had yet to greet us, it was 20 degrees outside, yet everyone was in high spirits.

As we made our way closer to the Mall the crowds grew and momentum carried us. There were no real signs directing us but just a general direction we were all being pulled. We came across the highway that leads under the Capitol Mall, it was closed to automobiles but open to citizens. Thousands of people, like herds across the plains migrating to see this historical event. It was surreal and eery. You only see people walking down highways like that in movies and usually its apocalyptic imagery.

We arrived at our blue gate around 8 am only to find no signs of direction and thousands and thousands of people lined through the street. We immediately placed ourselves in line and waited. The wind was blistering and all of us were huddled together. Yet the mood was jovial. People told jokes, sang songs, hugged one another and chatted as if they were long lost friends. The hours went by though and it became quite apparent that we were not going to get through the gates in time for Obamas Speech. Basically it was general chaos and complete disorganization. Luckily our fortitude lead us to explore and we arrived through the silver gate just in time for an awful song by Aretha Franklin.

Obama came on, like most of us know by now and gave a somber and realistic speech on the state of our country and world. Although his words lacked the hope from his earlier speeches you wouldnt find its effect apparent on the faces of the millions watching live. People were crying, but with those tears were smiles.

Here are a few pix from the weekend.

Worst Week Ever - Matt Edition

This dood claims to be one of my good friends. Instead he is responsible for one of my worst weeks ever. First we are in a fantasy basketball league together. Matt is first in our league (and as a result is on pace to win a thousand dollars at the end of the season)and i am in third. I am lucky enough to have the number one ranked player in fantasy basketball in Chris Paul who dominates in almost all statistical categories (except rebounds and blocks). Matt has attempted numerous times to get Chris Paul from me this year but i have yet to accept any of his trade offers... until this week when i accepted a deal that involved Andre Iguodala and Jameer Nelson. Sure enough in his first game for me, Nelson tore his shoulder and is out the rest of the season. Thats just balls.

Secondly Matt is from Rhode Island and is a huge Boston Celtics fan. Tonight his Boston Celtics were visiting my Philadelphia Seventy Sixers. It was a hard fought game with both teams going back and forth. The Sixers took a one point lead on an Iguodala jumpshot with 6 seconds left. Trash talking ensued on my end via text, Matt didnt respond. Then Ray Allen of the Celtics hit a three at the buzzer, Celtics win and the Sixers lose. WTF!!!!

Lastly Matt and i like to play basketball too, not only engage in the spectator sport of watching basketball or putting money into a fantasy league to pretend that we have some sort of control and consequence to the live NBA games. Matt suggested that we try Air Alert which is a leg work out system that is supposed to increase a players vertical jump and thus ensuring that they might be able to actually dunk the basketball one day. Matt and I, both being white have longed to dunk our whole lives but have never actually achieved such goal (i have grabbed and hung on a rim since i was 15 but at 28 have yet to actually put the ball through the hoop yet). Anyway my legs are fucking killing me thanks to this kid!! Actually burning!!! And i have a feeling that i still wont be able to dunk anytime soon so its probably all for naught.

So in conclusion, this kid is screwing my world up and hes supposed to be a close friend of mine. Thanks alot Matt.

He Screwed Up

"I screwed up."

Today, after much scrutiny and national media attention Tom Daschle stepped down as appointee to the Health and Human Services Secretary. According to records Daschle had not paid $128,000 in back taxes (specifically for a chaffeur, apparently he needs a driver to hit mcdonalds). Daschle had decided to stepped down after much scrutiny and to save himself and President Obama continued embarassement.

What followed was a frank and earnest admittal from President Obama as he opened "I screwed up." Simple and to the point. There was no "staying the course", there was no adding onto and already bad situation. Obama took a step back and admitted he was wrong.

How refreshing it is to have a leader who can admit such things. If only Bush (who should have never taken us to Iraq in the first place) said "i screwed up" in Iraq (or any numerous blunders he committed.

President Obama has received from flack from various conservatives and their accompanying media outlets but although its true his administration should be more seasoned at vetting perhaps its also true that there might not be that many in Washington who are in tune with what Obama is truly attempting to do, which is change the energy and direction of the world we live in.

Hopefully he can find more on par with his own energy sooner then later.

explosions in the sky

sometimes you feel it
sometimes you dont

sometimes you feel like someone else knows you
sometimes you feel like no one does

in between

heads bow and look up towards the sky
in the distance fireworks let you know that there is joy .. colors bloom out of the darkness and twist and spin, its a good feeling to know that sometimes things are done out of pure happiness and thats when you look around to see the other faces in the ambiguous and distant crowd, illuminated by more then the moon, by mans interpretation of the stars and you realize a cold beer and a hot dog, that a childs smile, so simple and elegant is the natural way of things and you grin

just a small grin
just some acknowledgement

of the way things should be, you see your loved ones, whether they be friends or family, wives or husbands, girlfriends or boyfriends, sisters or brothers and you think to yourself that the wind never looked so beautiful sitting on their perched lips, clenching onto saliva thats waiting to jump exstatically into the abyss of the night so it might dance on the shouldres of blades of grass while becoming transparent on its green canvass changing envy to rapture

your hands are soft, but only while touching the other, wrapped beyond tens, you double the expression and become one, comfortably sitting in place you let yourself remember what it was like when you depended on someone else, searching beyond means you come to see, only when you truely let go is when you truely live

breathe in
breathe out

from whence we came, we shall return
ultimately it is where we end up
until

we explode
and we return home

Healthcare Systems Keepin Us in Check

Here is something i wrote a few years ago after some awful experiences with insurance companies and figure id share now. Enjoy.

I spent the better part of yesterday back and forth between my insurance company and the doctors office absolutely bewildered at the state of healthcare in America. My foot propped up on a pillow; I remembered why I had put off calling the doctor for three weeks, because I was already overwhelmed with what lay ahead. The inefficiencies of our nations insurance companies are mind-boggling. Some might think that they fail at their goal; they don’t provide what they offer. But this is untrue; the insurance company achieves its ultimate goal. This is because its goal is to fail. Its not supposed to provide health coverage to its members. Instead the corporations essentially offer false hope and as a result disillusionment that leaves more Americans in their current social and economic state.
I called Anthem Blue Cross Blue Shield and was immediately greeted by an automated service. The computerized voice offered me a few options that were none of the options that I was searching for. After about five options I pressed zero thinking I knew the little secret that many others didn’t, the golden number to a live operator. I’ve always been quite proud when I would tell others about my secret, the way that I would skip the line and get right to a live person by pressing the golden “0”. Alas apparently I have told to many people because this was no longer an option. Instead Max Headrome returned and went through the aforementioned options. I pressed “1” and then had to choose between English and Spanish which would be the easiest part of my journey. Of course once I selected a language I had to wait for a few minutes listening to horrible elevator music although I was actually in an elevator. I cursed myself for not finding a landline to make the call thinking about how sprint had to be in on this too as my daytime minutes slipped away.
Finally I heard a pause in the music. My heart raced as I sat silent for a second only to realize it was my connection that was suspect, the elevator music resumed. But alas after a few more moments, while watching Oprah belittle some author I was greeted with a friendly voice.

“Thank you for calling Anthem Blue Cross Blue Shield, how many I help you?”
“Hi, I don’t know if you are the right person to call, but um, um, I am looking for the out of state, away from home care, do you need my membership number first”
“That would be great”

Why didn’t she ask me this to begin with? It would seem like the logical thing to do considering at one point or another she would need this information. We spent the next few minutes discussing the different intonations of “M” versus “N’ and “V” versus “B” or “C”. For some reason I never think of easy words to offer such as “B as in Benjamin”. Instead I always think of curse words or nothing at all, “B as in bitch” and I giggle to myself in my head. Finally we confirm that I am indeed me, which I always find is a relief. Infact I urge any of us who are having any type of identity problems to immediately call their insurance company. They will certainly give you confirmation and you can go about your existence again. After all this she finally says,

“So how may I help you?”
“I need to find doctors in Philadelphia.”
“Any type of doctors?”
“Oh wow, I didn’t think of that, well yea a foot doctor, a podiatrist, I injured myself playing basketball” (She didn’t give much attention to this information) But you should know I’m out of state, my coverage is in Connecticut.”
“I see”

The dreaded “I see”. Its arguably one of the worst expressions one can hear. Right up there with “Sorry hunny, I've been cheating on you with Hitler or your best friend” and “Hi, this is Tina, that girl from the bar last month, you know McFaddens, yea well I'm pregnant”. Blasted McFadden’s!

“Well sure ill have to connect you with the out of state operator, she will take care of you.”
“Oh, okay then, thank you.”

Why didn’t she do this in the beginning! Why did I spend the last five daytime minutes on the phone with someone who could not help me? It makes no sense, its almost as if she was just teasing me. Like youre 17 in the back of your car with the prom queen, you feel like a million bucks. But then she gets out of the car after two minutes of kissing right when you were beginning to maneuver your hand up her shirt! God Damnit! Stifled again! I feel like a blue-balled teenager.
More time goes by and finally I’m in the right place. This voice sounds much like the previous one and makes me think that I’m the butt of a big joke. Like the guys from Crank Yankers are on the other end having a big laugh. And the first question she asks,

“Hello sir, may I please have your membership identification number?”

Are you fucking kidding me? Seriously? Now I know I’m the target of some vast conspiracy. Didn’t I just give this information to the last operator? Shouldn’t you already have this information? Now I feel like a foreigner speaking to someone in French. (I chose the French here because they are the only people who have as much disdain for me as insurance customer service operators). You know those times when you just repeat the same thing over and over again as if they will all of a sudden learn English through repetitive listening.
I give up my information all the time praying that she wont ask why I’m out of state, in Philadelphia considering I have a few doctors visits in the area and none in my “home state”. I will refrain from giving up any more information for fear of the obvious, they are watching. After five more minutes she has found three doctors in my network. Hallelujah. My blood rushes, my heart pounds. I see light at the end of the tunnel until I ask the next question.

“So do I have to do anything else? Once I make the appointment do I have to do anything else?”
“I don’t know sir, I only am a locator. You will have to call membership services.”
“Oh ok, can you please connect me to them.”
“I’m sorry, I don’t have the directory here so you’ll just have to call the customer service line, it should be on the back of your card.”

No shit, I used it to call you. I hang up. I look at the clock and see that I have twenty minutes to Around the Horn on Espn and would like to have all this finished up so I can hear five people’s ramblings on the significance of Kobe Bryant dropping 81 in an NBA game. Upon occasion I marvel at the fact that people are paid to just give their opinions and report events. It seems like such an easy job, I should be paid to do that. I do it ever day, “That hot ass chick just bought a chicken parm sandwich, damn she is hot, I should get her number.” Seems easy enough. I take a deep breath and call back. Brimming with confidence knowing that it didn’t take me too long last time to find an operator. At least after a few miscues. But this time takes much longer. For some reason all the options that were available the last time I called seem different. I can never remember what option I chose in my Choose Your Adventure story.
You might ask why don’t I just make the appointment? Well rewind a few years when I had a knee injury and was attending college in Washington DC. After finding a doctor in the network I made an appointment and went in for knee rehabilitation. Confident that I was completely covered I went a few times. The doctor’s office never gave notice that anything was wrong. After 9 visits totaling at $900 I find that the insurance company wont cover it because I never alerted them for authorization. I thought I had considering I talked to an operator. But alas this was not enough and I was stuck with a $900 tab. Insurance companies are the devils.
So this day I growing increasingly frustrated. I had just hung up for the third time, not finding my pot of gold through the winding automated maze. I decided to give it one more go before giving up on the day. Somehow, through divine intervention I found the person I need to talk to. Three daytime phone calls and 20 minutes to find one person to offer me this after I gave her my membership number again,

“Yes sir, call and make an appointment then call us again here at the out of state care to alert us to the doctor, date, time and address so we can put through an authorization code for that day.”

Once I had to reschedule an appointment after putting the authorization call in. I forgot to call in a second time to alert the change in date and was denied coverage once again. I figure they would be smart enough to know that it was the same patient and doctor. Apparently it was I who was not smart enough. So I ask this lovely lady for some information as well,

“May I have your name and extension so I can just call you back?”
“Yes my name is Monique and I don’t have an extension, but you can just ask for me. Also make sure you ask the doctor if they are still in the network.”

That’s essentially the same thing as the “how about I take your number instead?” Then you walk yourself home late at night telling yourself she will indeed call. After a few days you start looking her up on yahoo, google, friendster, myspace to no avail and convince yourself that she must have lost your number because why would she have asked for your number in the first place if she didn’t want to call you. Wait did she really ask for my number? Hmmm.
I google the three doctors whose names I received through the locator operator who has nothing to do with the out of state operator. Only one of them has any information online and two of the others have names that sound like id meet them in the back of a dark alley in Bangkok during monsoon season. I call the listed doctor and leave a message on a shotty old school sounding answering machine.
Two days later I get a call back and make an appointment. I ask the secretary if they are still in the network.

“I don’t know, how would I know? If they listed us we must be. That’s all on the insurance company, that has nothing to do with us. How about this, you just come in and if they approve it they approve it. If they don’t then you can deal with it later.”

Exhausted, mentally and emotionally I say “whatever” and hang up. I now get ready to call back Anthem Blue Cross and Blue Shield. Ill skip past the Choose Your Adventure phase this time but be assured that it definitely occurred. I find an operator and ask to speak to Monique only to find that Monique doesn’t exist. She was like a dream, or a nightmare. Eventually I am reconnected to out of state coverage. This woman was nothing like Monique. Not that Monique was a saint but she was helpful in her role. This woman though was immediately suspect of my out of state care and the reasons behind me not being in Connecticut. After much convincing she accepts my lame duck story and puts through the authorization. I wet my pants in excitement and down a shot of Jamesons by myself. I ask her for her name before I hang up,

“My name is Monique sir, anything else I can help you with?”
“A rope and a high chair?”

She doesn’t get it.

I have yet to visit the doctor. They didn’t have an opening for ten days so I have to sit here with my injured foot awaiting news that I already know. “You should rest it for a while, a few weeks, maybe we should take some x rays.” At which point ill have to get the insurance company to cover the X-ray somehow. Which means ill have to go through the whole process again.
I sit here now completely jaded by the whole bureaucracy. I think to myself that there is such an easier way. That the system does not make any sense. Its not efficient and it doesn’t do what its designed to do. But infact it does. Insurance companies aren’t designed to provide affordable quality healthcare to their members. They are designed to earn money and its what they do best. That’s how the companies are constructed.
And all this money goes to one place, the higher ups, the bourgeoisie. The money goes right into the pocket of the ceo’s who are making deals with the prescription drug companies and to lobbyists who then pad the pockets of our civic representatives. It’s designed to keep the current social caste system. A system where the upper and lower class are being even further separated as the middle class disappears. There’s no mistake that every operator is named Monique (reference page 179 of Freakanomics, by Steven D Levitt Would a Roshanda by Any Other Name smell as Sweet). They find people from lower income brackets who they can train and offer full health benefits. To this individual it’s a great deal. They get a steady job; benefits and they can support their families. Meanwhile the corporation dangles the cheese in front of them, consistently creating a falsehood while promising these low-income workers opportunities to move up through the corporate ladder. It will never happen. Although the women’s movement has created more jobs for women there is still a large discrepancy when it comes to women in positions of corporate power. Even more so for African-American women who have lived hanging on the bottom rung since Americas inception. All Monique can do is follow protocol and report problems to her manager who is probably someone named Jim and earns just a little more then her and reports to someone who reports to someone who reports to someone who reports to someone who reports to someone who reports to someone who reports to the board of directors at Anthem Blue Cross Blue Shield.
The Insurance companies also keep each division separated. They don’t want their employees developing relations with their peers. Its not encouraged. Hence the reason we have to keep giving them our membership number over and over again. If each division were in constant contact with one another then it would promote discussion and debate. They would eventually find that Monique in the out of state office earns more then Monique at the locator office and would also discover that the another Monique has been working in membership services and hasn’t been given a raise or promotion in the 23 years she has been working with the company. Monique will never move up the ranks because those positions are reserved for those upper class individuals who attended the nations greatest private schools and universities.
Upon graduation, without any field experience these ivy leaguers who will most likely be white will be employed by the insurance companies assuring their spots in the corporate hierarchy. As a result Monique will never be given a fair opportunity to rise up the corporate ladder, bring money into her community, or worry about her social responsibility. In effect her children will grow up without a mother who has to work constantly to pay the bills. The children will have no guidance and have to attend lower income public schools with no money for books, computers, or sexual education. There’s a good chance that one of Monique’s children will get into drugs, another will parent a child at a very young age and neither of them will ever have the opportunity to attend college. As a result little George W. Bush, having just graduated from Yale (where he never had the intelligence/grades to attend in the first place but most certainly the money and lack of pigment) will have his place secured in the hierarchy. Monique and her children will have their places secured as well.
The company hopes that after being misled through automated services and constantly redirected the member will just give up. Instead of going through all the hassle they will just pay it themselves and stay in debt. As a result they will never be able to move from the lower class to the ever-dwindling middle class and one day upon the high perches of the 1% that actually control everything. For a good example watch the movie The Rainmaker starring Matt Damon and Danny Devito, or read the book of the same title by author John Grisham.
It’s easy to break a persons back who is already on their knees. These individuals who seek healthcare through the insurance companies are already bewildered, are already ill. Why should a sick person have to put up with any of this? The last thing they want to do is worry about why their insurance company isn’t holding up their end of the bargain, hence the reason they usually give up. It’s a small price to pay for the insurance companies when some members actually follow up on their services and claims. Unfortunately for us the person at both ends of the line happens to be Monique. We are the same person attempting to figure out the same problem and finding no answers.
The higher ups are sitting back with their feet up sipping on champagne in their private jets flying off to their private islands. They marvel at how we don’t get it, they spit on us and look down upon our broken backs, dirty hand and sniffling noses. But if history proves anything its that things move in cycles and if Karl Marx is right, there’s a revolution coming, hopefully sooner rather then later.

Randoms...

Ive said this before but Wilcos Sky Blue Sky makes you feel like everything is gonna be alright.

In the last month ive seen Slumdog Millionaire, Doubt, Rachel Getting Married, Revolutionary Road, Milk and Frost Nixon. I kind of want to jump off a bridge. Oddly enough i found Frost Nixon to be the most fascinating although Slumdog was the most complete film and Revolutionary Road presented the best performances. Rachel Getting Married was well done too but id never recommend it to a living soul.

Sometimes feeling pain is a good thing because it reminds you that you are alive. I dont think people enjoy their pain enough, not that im a masochist by any means. What i mean is that we feel things for a reason and you have to go through those emotions and feel them completely before moving on. Thats why there is Radiohead.

Life is about moments and enjoying those moments while in the present. So the key is to put together enough good moments so you are continually living a good life. Find what makes you happy and do it.

This year the Philadelphia Phillies won the world series. The first championship in 25 years for the city of Philadelphia. Its amazing what sport can do to energize a group of people. A city mired in recesssion and crime came together to celebrate. Noam Chomsky argues that sports are a waste of time because all they do is distract us from the real issues at hand. That might be true but sometimes we need distraction. Real life aint going anywhere, sometimes we just need a break from it.

You gotta do you before you can do other people.

The holidays arent the same without kids. At 28 i am the youngest in my family and any excitement that surrounds christmas with my family has left with my adolescence. As adults we just sit around, eat drink and be merry but there is no youthful exuberance. Little kids have faith, they can believe things without any empircal evidence. Maybe there was a time when adults could do that but its less and less now it seems. Im gonna start believing in Santa Claus again for next xmas and see how that works out. That or i have to get some chick pregnant soon. Hmmm... maybe not.